Oh the People you’ll See

April 25, 2008

Before I met my now hubby, I was finally at a place where I was getting over a very bad, five-year long, off and on relationship. I had dropped about 40 lbs, and was ready to ‘put myself back out there’. The problem was, I didn’t know how to meet new people. I’d only dated the one guy all through college, and now I was out, working for a 15-person company. I already knew all my friends’ friends. It was 2001, and despite the stigma, I wasn’t too proud to give online dating a shot.

It was great – back then, you could still do 30 day free trials on just about every site, so I started trolling. And boy, did I pick up some gems. There was the one guy who was so friggin’ big, I was actually scared a little bit when I met him. (I didn’t require pics from the guys I chatted with – what was on the inside was so much more important – hah!)

And the guy who was in a roller coaster club and wanted to be a professional volleyball player. From my e-mail, he found the address of my company, and just showed up one day. He wanted to go to a happy hour that night, and I hadn’t responsed quickly enough to him through IM. After he left, my boss came through and asked, “What’s that smell?” Never a good sign…

I actually dated another guy for a couple of months. He treated me like a princess, something that had been seriously lacking in my prior relationship, so I thought that made up for his… eccentricities. We went to watch Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and I was concerned because he was Dyslexic. He said it was okay, he spoke Chinese. When I said, “No you don’t!” He said, “Well, I used to”. He also claimed he could hold his breath for 9 minutes, and despite a 30-minute argument with my friend would not concede that 7+4 did not equal 12. Once, when I didn’t go see him until a Sat. night when I had said we could send the day together, he confessed he had eaten an entire box of cheesecake snacks.

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